Heart
by Aster Knight Sapphire
Summary: Kai lay in the snow, thinking over his life until now. How he resented himself, and how everyone loved him. He remembered it all. Until the last heartbeat.


**Okay, random idea for the New Year. I know it's a bit late but anyway. Don't ask where I got this idea from. In fact, I can not believe I wrote this!**

**Warnings: (possibly) Depressing and Character Death!**

**Heart**

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><p>Kai lay motionlessly on the snow, his arms and legs spread wide. His thin blue pants and white shirt that was not buttoned completely did nothing to warm his skin against the raging wind. He stared upward, watching the snow move with the wind. His hair whipped against his face, but he made no show of noticing. His face was entirely blank, green hues staring into nothing. His heart didn't feel a thing.<p>

Time had passed by so quickly. He remembered vague times of him as a toddler, laughing with his dad and singing with his mom. His first time meeting Miwa, the two becoming best friends instantly. His first card fight. The feeling of losing. The bond he shared with his cards. The passion that led his victory. His first encounter with Aichi. His parents death.

Kai blinked, the first movement he had made since an eternity. That's right. His parents had died. The despair and pounding in his heart that threatened to destroy him. Leaving everything he had once loved. Finding nothing that could make up for the whole in his heart. Then he met Ren and Tetsu.

Kai made a slight hum, his eyes almost appearing sleepy. That was the strangest day of his life. Tetsu was much older than him and would get into fights at times taking on too many. Kai had once fought with him. They came back battered and bleeding, but they were laughing all the way.

Ren had been absolutely the strangest person he had ever met. The red-head would tail him everywhere until Kai did what he asked. There would never be a serious card fight when he was around. He would always make the strangest analogies about everything. The meaning of danger never entered his brain. Kai and Tetsu had to make sure he would never slip from the roof.

Kai reached up a shaky hand and grasped a snowflake. He opened the palm of his hand and watched it twinkle. Both had been such great friends. Even when he left, their hearts were still one. They had made things right, unaware they had made friends along the way. Team Q4, Team AL4. Everything seemed to happen too fast.

They then lost their decks and teamed up. They knew something was wrong. Their hearts had a missing piece, knowing something had to be there to fill it. And they found it. What's more, they gained a new friend. _They_, not him.

Kai let his hand drop on the snow. Life worked in mysterious ways. Truly, he had never attempted to make any friends, but he had gained so many. And just as quickly, he turned on them all. Link Joker. He chose it to gain power.

He was afraid. He had been becoming weak. Kai felt that he would long be forgotten by his loved ones. He chose Link Joker in his desperation and truly, his friends never forgot him. He destroyed each one without movement in his heart, forgetting everything. It all turned black when he defeated Miwa. Taking down Aichi and Ren felt like nothing compared to that.

But Aichi had saved him. Everyone had accepted him again. Everyone but himself. His heart was incomplete. The pain he had caused. He knew he had not only hurt the people he knew. And he was proved right. Gaillard, Rati, Nave, all of them faced awful things because of him. He had caused pain everywhere on the world.

That was why he let Gaillard insult him again and again. He deserved it. He deserved to lose. He deserved to be burned alive. He deserved to get punched, but he didn't deserve to have saved Aichi.

They had wanted him as a leader. The one who had tortured the hearts of people all over the world. Ironically, he had some strange effect on people. Gaillard had accepted him as a fellow card fighter. He even invited him to his country. Where the kids were. The ones he turned into monsters. His heart had been changed at that moment.

Everything seem so slow for mountains stood tall, and yet, Kai felt they were dying. The trees around him that were completed covered in snow seemed to have no meaning here. He could almost count every snowflake that fell. How simple their time passed. Falling one after the other, either melting or freezing. Kai slowly moved his hand over his heart. He couldn't feel it. Why?

Did they all really care for him? He had done countless regrettable things. He had never forgave himself. But they did. Miwa still stood by him, joking casually as if he had not almost ended the world. Ren still called him a friend, lecturing him about hanging out more. Tetsu and Misaki still talked casually with him. Kamui still challenged him to a card fight. Naoki did the same. Aichi was still kind to him. Why?

Kai felt a strange sensation over his face. It felt warm. He raised a hand up and felt a streamline of tears. He was crying? Why? Was there a point to it? Was there a point to anything in his life?

_Your friends think so._

Kai blinked. They were always there for him. No matter what he did. Being with them or having been against them, they were still with him. Even now.

The brunet let out an empty chuckle, a shadowy smile on his face. Despite this, he still resented himself. And yet, his heart felt warm.

Kai closed his tear-filled eyes slowly, a smile on his face. Yes, it felt warm. His heart felt warm. And complete. The hole gone.

He felt warm.

Happy.

Relieved.

He slowly opened his eyes, watching the sun one last time.

His heart had been filled. He felt his heart lurch.

And stop.

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><p><strong>Wow. Reading it, I'm actually tearing up a bit. Yes, I just k-k... Okay I can't believe I wrote this! Don't kill me! I don't hate Kai in the slightest!<strong>


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